I made my way up to Atlantic City and had a blast with friends. Getting caught in a sand storm and jumping into the pool at the night club. It was rejuvenating to catch up with people I already know. It was fun to celebrate an exciting occasion and go to the beach!
Long ago, I was traveling with my friend and his brother and we were at this beautiful lake in Switzerland. The mountains turned our breath into disbelief and language wasn't a barrier with the locals. The guy we met and were hanging out with was telling us about how small the city was and his sentence was interrupted by a boat about to dock. He says, "Come on, there will be waves!" Instantaneously, everyone gets up and gets into the water to ride the ripple, or wave, as they see it.
My mind was really boggled by this idea. Everyone, just waiting for the wave. Just waiting for it to come their way. The point of this little anecdote is because it's kind of how I felt this week.
Here I am, in a place I like, with like minded people, but as I get to know the logistics, it's like we are just waiting for a wave.
I am just not used to it. Is this what I want? How do I do it? Gosh, should I go home?
Being home made things confusing. It reminded me how easy it was. I worked hard, but I could hang art as I pleased, or plan a show at my studio when I was ready. I was the boat making the wave. Now I am onshore.
(Give myself time, don't waste it.)
My intuition knows I must create the wave of inspiration for myself again. I don't really know how to do this, but I have found a running route that is ever so challenging...
I think when I got back to Asheville I was struggling because it was comfortable. Excitement is often trumped by comfort and I lost the lust in the logistics. It's not about finding frustration in how long it takes me to accomplish my artistry goals, it's about learning from it. Thinking in terms of admiration for this time and how much opportunity I have to explore.
It just takes time. I will keep reminding myself of this, and to pass the time I will continue to collage. But, most importantly, I will continue to believe that I can make this work.
Ps. To my friends, I wish I was camping this weekend with you all!