I am not sure if I thrive off uncertainty, but I know I find commitment hard. I think I like the challenge of what's next and I am well aware this is not always a good thing.
It's a weird state when not committing to something, actually becomes a commitment.
It is cool how things are playing out. I really never would of thought I would be living in a hostel hosting new people every night. I have a new friend, I can't really remember not having, and I walk so damn fast around a new city that feels like home.
One thing that has always remained the same is my music and the wonder. Why are we who we are? Why do we fall into patterns? Why? I use to have these weird blips when I was younger of amazement, that I was who I was, and that my name was Ashley, and that was me in the mirror, and I am kind of feeling that way again.
Moving into Sweet Peas has taught a lot about the fundamentals of my character. I'm mildly insensitive but I will help you. It's been enlightening and the amount of talented people is inspiring. The thought processes, the humor, the experience, and the wisdom of people is endless. Genuinely good people, escaping the daily routine to be in the mountains, with the trees, or just to enjoy the breweries makes me yell, "Cheers!" Humanity is alive and it is important to recognize the humanity within yourself. We are all apart of it, just figuring it out as we go. I've never believed more in risks and chances and I am so happy I took one...even if it wasn't that big of a leap.
(I took Sage to the pool the other day and she was showing me how huge she could leap.)
The simple act of believing what you are doing is huge; is mesmerizing. To actually follow through with something that holds a huge value to you, means even more. We are all capable of that idea we don't tell anyone, we just have to believe in the innocent spirit that ignited the thought. The dream before reality. The understanding that passion outweighs capability and that we are lucky to have the opportunity to do something huge, even if it is the smallest gesture.